Tag: anxiety

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The ABC of Anxiety Relief

Watch on Youtube at: http://youtu.be/5MopqZynWck

Not written anything here for ages, because I’ve been exploring the possibility of using video to communicate my message to a wider audience. So here is my very first attempt at video production.

I hope you enjoy it and find it of some value. I’m a one man show so performing, filming, editing, & titling are all new skills I’m having to learn, and that’s one of the things I’d like to write about here before I get on to the main topic – the subject of the video.

Learning new skills, even if they are highly complex, is a wonderful way to keep your mind young, healthy and active. There was a point where I was ready to tear my hair out trying out figure out how to get my titles out of Adobe After Effects and into my video editing software. Two weeks later I can do simple stuff relatively easily. The rolling credits at the end were the biggest challenge and I’m not totally happy with the outcome but I’m pleased that I’ve done as well as I have.

Keep your mind engaged with new, difficult and fascinating  challenges. It keeps you young. It keeps you healthy. And it expands your world.

Expanding your world is another way to reduce anxiety levels. The bigger your world, the less impact any change will have because your world is so big that even losing your job is only a small part of what you live for.

But anxiety interferes with fun, enjoyment and learning. So it is hugely important, if you are a worrier, that you learn techniques to help you reduce your anxiety load. I have designed this video to help you do just that by following three easy to remember steps and repeating them as often as you need to throughout your day. It takes just a moment and, like video editing, it might seem complicated at first but if you keep at it, it will soon be second nature and crippling anxiety will be a thing of the past.

If you enjoy the video please leave a comment below.

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Insomnia And How To Beat It

Sleep is probably the only thing we do each day that really matters. But many people fail to get the quality of sleep they need.

Sleep appears to be a quite natural process that we have no control over – largely because we are unconscious when we do it. But, we can actually do quite a lot to improve the quality and quantity of our sleep without having to resort to medication.

A survey by the National Sleep Foundation showed that 35% of the people surveyed had sleep problems.

The problems fell into four categories:

  1. Difficulty falling asleep
  2. Frequent waking during the night.
  3. Waking up too early and staying awake.
  4. Waking without feeling any sense of refreshment.

I think all of those things happen to all of us at some time, but there comes a point when they are happening frequently, or worse still, nightly, and that’s when you have a problem. The problem is twofold. First of all you no longer look forward to bedtime because you know what’s going to happen. Secondly you are not energized by your night’s rest and so fatigue sets in early along with problems concentrating and staying focused. Enthusiasm is difficult to find, temper gets short and relationships suffer.

The interesting thing is that poor sleeping patterns can usually be fixed quite easily and without resorting to medication.

Anxiety is one of the major causes of sleep disruption, and that’s quite understandable if it is just an occasional disturbance. But when the anxiety is a background state that is always present then it is time to take action.

Anxiety falls into two main categories:

  1. Anxiety about things you have no control over
  2. Anxiety over things you have control over.

If you can do something then take action. If you can’t do anything then recognise that you are powerless, it is in the lap of the Gods, and make peace with it.

I know that simplifies things a little too much, so here is another angle.

Anxiety is all about thoughts that wander through your mind. The thoughts will be thoughts that cause your emotional energy to drop into the territories of anger, fear, or grief. Anxiety is either a fantasy about what might happen, or a regret about what has happened. Neither of those is going on in the present.

The problem is rarely what has happened, or might happen, it is your thoughts about that. The thoughts are the problem. It is the thoughts that disturb your sleep, prevent you from dropping off, and wake you early.

So attend to the thoughts.

Now you may think that you are powerless to impact your thoughts. After all, you only know about them once they appear and once they appear it is a little late to do anything about them.

At least that is what your thoughts would have you believe.

Worrying is a choice and an addiction.

You can control it, but not directly. You have to sort of sneak up on it through the back door.

Here are three simple things you can do to begin to take back control of your mind.

Bathe:

Just before bedtime, run yourself a nice warm bath. If you like bubbles and candles and soft music, do that too. Get in, then just lie there soaking in the warmth and allow your mind to drift to somewhere pleasant. Plan a dream holiday to a place you’d love to visit; fantasise about a new toy you’d like to possess; start to write your novel in your mind by developing the story line and characters; let your mind run free to explore anything at all that you find fascinating. If at any time you realise you are back on your favourite worry subject, then just let that go and return to your imaginary world. After about half an hour of this, get out and go straight to bed.

Turn off TV:

An hour before bedtime turn off the TV. Instead listen to some relaxing music, something drifting and dreamy if you have it, definitely not something that makes you want to get up and dance. Read a really good book that takes you away and engrosses you, or read something really boring.

Exercise:

Fit some vigorous physical activity into your evening routine. Join a gym, go for a fast walk, buy yourself a rowing machine. It doesn’t really matter what the exercise is or where you do it but get physical. The exercise generates endorphins which make you feel good. When you feel good it is much harder to get hold of negative thoughts.

There are also some don’ts.

Go to bed to go to sleep. So don’t read in bed. Don’t watch TV in bed. Don’t listen to the radio, or anything else, in bed. And most important of all, don’t nap during the day or evening.

If anxiety is disturbing your sleep then just doing these simple things will improve your sleep quality, and quantity.

Michael

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Stress Adversely Affects Unborn Children

It’s a real shame that pregnancy affects so many people because it’s tough being in the womb when your Mum is finding that life is not as easy as she hoped it would be. Mum-to-be can’t smoke to ease her frazzled nerves. And almost anything she consumes has the potential to end up in you, so drinking and drug taking (prescribed or otherwise) have to be monitored carefully or, preferably, stopped altogether.

Now, according to a recent Dutch study by Eva Loomans, a psychologist at Tilburg University, you can’t even get stressed or depressed without your unborn child suffering. The problem is that stress and/or depression appear to cause low birth weights. There was also a small, though statistically significant, connection with babies born pre-term. Being born early has the potential to cause health problems throughout your life.

Now, you and I both know that stress is a part of modern life. We cannot escape from it, but these pregnancy problems arise when the stress interferes with normal functioning. When the worry causes you to change behaviours; to avoid situations, or just people; or it stops you from living normally; that is when it becomes a health issue. This state of affairs applied to around 25% of 7,700 women who took part in the study.

A lot of people suffer from stress, anxiety, worry or depression. But if they happen to be pregnant it affects their unborn child too. Of course, if you are pregnant or thinking of starting a family, all this knowledge is going to do is to add to your worries because now you not only have all your current worries, you also have to worry about your worry damaging your baby’s health too.

What you need is a solution.

The doctors may give you medications, but there is always a danger that they will probably affect your child as well. It’s a bit of a Catch-22 situation. The worry is making you worry more and the medication to solve that problem is going to do as much or more harm than the worrying is already accomplishing.

A good idea is to learn a different approach to life and living – an approach that reduces the amount of worrying you do and frees you up to spend that worry time doing something much more interesting instead.

There are a lot of tools you can use to help you start with this. I’m in the process of creating products and writing books that will guide you through many of these so I’ll just introduce you to a few here.

Meditation

Learn how to meditate. Meditation is one of the best tools I know to reduce stress and anxiety. You can learn to meditate on your own or listen to a guided meditation.

So far I’ve produced two Guided Meditations. Chakra Meditation, and Spirit Guide Meditation. They are both beautifully relaxing meditations available in CD format from Amazon.com and as an MP3 download from my website.

Self-Hypnosis

Self hypnosis is a great way to reduce stress and improve your life. I’ve created a self hypnosis MP3 Download that helps you to learn how to do this quickly and easily so that you can begin to take control of your life and discover that those external pressures do not have to impact you so strongly. As you work with self-hypnosis regularly you will find that your life begins to change and you feel lighter, more energised, and able to see solutions where previously you only saw problems.

Freedom

I have written a book that looks at a lot of stress causing problems, and it’s yours for free. It’s called Freedom and you can get your free copy at the top right of this page.

Hypnosis

If you feel that you need some help and don’t have the strength of mind to take control of your own destiny at this point, then find a good hypnotherapist and sign up for a course of treatment. It will help you to find your way out and back into the world again.

Books

Get down to your local bookshop, or library, find the Self-help section and take home whatever grabs your attention. I’ve organised a selection of titles that I’ve found amazingly helpful during the darker times of my life so check out my self help books page.

Release from Worry

The first step is to realise you have a problem. The second is to recognise, that with some help and guidance, you are the best person to solve it. No matter how difficult life is for you right now, if you are pregnant or thinking of having a baby, then you owe it to your future family to take action now to resolve the anxieties and concerns in your life. Even if you suffer from severe depression, these steps will help to begin the process of lifting you up and back to life in the light.

Understanding that you can change your mind, and then discovering exactly how to do that is your key to freedom and release from your suffering.

Michael

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Highly Sensitive People and the Key to Freedom

Elaine N. Aron coined the term Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and explored this idea in her book The Highly Sensitive Person – How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You. It’s all about the trait of High Sensitivity and the impact it has on the life of an individual. I was almost tempted to write an individual who suffers from it but it isn’t a disease or an illness. Mind you it certainly feels as though there’s something wrong when you are an HSP.

HSP’s are people for whom the world seems to have too much going on and too many expectations of them. They feel different, isolated, and frequently end up with psychological problems. Being Highly Sensitive itself is not a psychological problem, but growing up without understanding the differences between you and everyone else is what frequently causes the HSP to end up suffering.

So is this you, or is there another reason for your anxiety and stress?

Do the opening words of the book’s preface resonate with you?

“Cry baby!”

“Scaredy-cat!”

“Don’t be a spoilsport!”

Echoes from the past? And how about this well-meaning warning: “You’re just too sensitive for your own good.”

If it does, you may be one of us.

If you have a keen imagination and vivid dreams; need time alone each day; are too shy, or too sensitive (at least in the opinion of others); or find yourself wanting to withdraw from bright lights and noise, then there is a good chance that this is you.

According to Aron’s research about 1 in 5 people fall into the category of HSP, so there are plenty of us around. In fact the world would be a much poorer place without us, for she says we are the writers, historians, philosophers, judges, artists, researchers, theologians, therapists, teachers, or just conscientious citizens. But it’s frequently a painful journey to arrive at that place of wisdom and insight you wish to share with others.

My interest in this is partly because reading Aron’s book explained much of why my life wasn’t working and what I could do to change it; partly because so many of the people who come to me for help with anxiety and stress problems fall into this category too. The main reason for their suffering is a lack of self-acceptance – not I hasten to add because there is anything unacceptable about them – but because they can’t accept themselves. The reason they can’t accept themselves is because society says to be acceptable you need to fit in, and they just don’t.

There’s no room for manoeuvre there.

Just something as simple and joy-filled as a party can be hell for an HSP. Loud music, lots of people talking, loads of stimulation, lots of food choices to make. It’s so easy to be that person alone against the wall pretending to be fascinated by what you are eating, when you would much rather be at home with your head in that really good book you just started. But that’s anti-social, and being anti-social is frowned upon. If you stay at home you’ll end up with no friends and being lonely is worse than being an HSP.

The real problem is not the party. It’s the sense of having to be there and having to stay until a reasonable amount of time has passed.

I had a client recently who was really struggling with this. So I suggested he simply go with the intention of enjoying himself and leave as soon as he feels he’d had enough. When he came back for the next session he told me how incredibly freeing this was. The idea that he could leave when he’d had enough – even if that was just ten minutes after he arrived. It now meant that he could enjoy social events with family and friends. The big fear here is that of disapproval, but I explained to him that most people aren’t bothered about you. Most people are only concerned with themselves. When you say you’ve got to go, people will just accept it as long as there is no doubt in your mind about your intention to leave.

And this was what surprised him most. He stayed for around an hour, then said he had to go and no one was bothered, just pleased that he’d made the effort to come.

Being a Highly Sensitive Person is not easy, because it means making your own choices, monitoring your own internal stimulation levels, and frequently going against the flow of what everyone else in your social circle wants.

But once you take charge and discover that you can leave anywhere anytime, as soon as you’ve had enough, then you can return, socialise and enjoy living your life on your terms – rather than someone else’s.

The Highly Sensitive Person is well-worth reading. If it doesn’t apply to you, one of your children may well be an HSP. With the knowledge in this book, you can ensure their life is fun-filled, rather than the nightmare it could so easily turn out to be.

Just before I go, there is  another book that looks at this subject from a slightly different angle. It’s called Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking. I thoroughly enjoyed this one too and author, Susan Cain, references Aron’s work and even attends an HSP conference in her search for answers.

Michael

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Don’t Worry, or You’ll Soon Be Dead!

The latest research from the University of Edinburgh, looking at the lives of over 85,000 individuals in good health and aged 35 or over, has established a link between mild mental health problems and an early death. I’m sure it will be no surprise that depression and anxiety leads to physical illnesses like heart disease and cancer, but what is surprising is that there also appears to be a causal link with death from external causes. Unsurprisingly the more intense the psychological distress the more likely a person is to die of cardio-vascular disease, cancer, or accidents.

The types of psychological distress looked at in this study were: anxiety, depression, social dysfunction, and loss of confidence. Quite low levels of distress predict an almost 1 in 3 increase of death from cardiovascular disease, and from external causes. But it seems that more severe psychological problems are needed to trigger increased cancer risk – but when the distress is more serious the cancer risk increases to 2 in 5.

The interesting thing about this study is that the distress levels at which mortality increases are not high enough to require any medical intervention. What has been highlighted here is that about a quarter of the adult population are at risk of an earlier death unless they take action regarding their own mental health and well being.

The connection between stress and a lowered immune system response has been known for a long time, but this new study is really highlighting the fact that your mental health is hugely important and that minor stresses and feeling low should not be shrugged off or coped with. What is needed is for individuals to discover that there are things they can do to help themselves feel better. These are simple things, but they do require action. For instance turning off the tv news and slipping a DVD into the player so you can watch something that makes you laugh, or just feel good, is a smart move. But it takes effort. When you make the effort regularly, actions like this soon become effortless habits.

If you get hold of your free copy of my book Freedom you’ll find information in there that will help to lift your spirit and move you away from a life of worry.

Many people have lives that don’t seem to be working and every day is a struggle for them, but the rest are just getting by. If you are just getting by then you really should start to pay attention to the constant stream of negative messages that impact you during your day.

As a one time exercise get a pad and pen and just make a note every time you receive negative input from outside of yourself. It comes in the form of gossip, bitchiness, judgements, opinions, headlines, and tv. You even get it from ads. The ads do it subliminally because most ads create a positive aura around the product they want you to buy. However, the subtext is that your life is not good enough right now and will only be perfect when you purchase this whatever-it-is.

This research is a real action call to be much more aware of your mind state and to take action when your mood is low.

So why not take up my offer of a free book – after all it may add years to your life.

Michael

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Seven Quick Stress Reduction Tips

Everyone suffers from stress or anxiety at times. For some people though it seems like life has taken a dislike to them and the problems start to pile up. Then the stress begins to take its toll. Each day becomes more and more difficult to get through, and the mind is filled with anxious thoughts.

At such times frequently all that’s needed is a short respite, a few minutes peace. For in that peace, solutions begin to emerge and the body has a chance to recover physically from the damage the stress is causing.

If you use these tips regularly you will find that you start to become master of your mind and that you discover the ability to direct its energy to something more useful than worrying. Despite what you may think, worrying is never helpful, and never changes anything. Action changes things. So take action now. Just pick the one you most like the sound of and do that as soon as you finish reading about it.

Breathing

Move your awareness to your breathing. Then gently allow your breath to deepen. Push your abdominal muscles out to pull air into the lower parts of your lungs. Then pull those muscles in to expel that air. Do this slowly to a count of four in and four out, and as that becomes comfortable increase to a count of 6. If it feels comfortable hold the breath for a count of 2, and then 3. Do this for at least a couple of minutes.

Laughter

Bring to mind a humorous memory. Find some jokes on facebook. Watch a DVD that makes you laugh out loud, and if you don’t have one, buy one.

Norman Cousins, a journalist, was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis. His doctor estimated his chance of survival as 1 in 500. Cousins did three things. He checked himself out of hospital because he didn’t want to be in that negative atmosphere. He took high doses of vitamin C. Finally he hired a movie projector and loads of films that made him laugh (this was back in 1964 so home video hadn’t been invented yet). Blood tests before and after his bouts of belly laughter showed a significant lowering of markers for inflammation.

Within just a few weeks he was back at work and continued to recover as he laughed his way back to health. So please do not dismiss the therapeutic power of laughter.

Meditation

Meditation, even just ten minutes twice a day, is incredibly powerful. There are many techniques you can use. You can meditate in silence focused on your breath, repeat a mantra, or listen to a guided meditation on Cd. Personally I either listen to a guided meditation or use Kirtan Kriya meditation.

Music

Whatever your favourite music is, play it through headphones loud enough to drown out your thoughts, and if it moves you to move or dance then let it happen. Just be mindful of your hearing with the volume.

Now

Just ask yourself this question. “Am I alright NOW?” Now being the very moment of asking the question. Not the moment, the minute, the hour, the day, the week, before. Not the moment, the minute, the hour, the day, the week, after. The exact moment of asking the question.

Answer the question either yes or no, and then ask the question again. Keep repeating this until your mind has quietened down. Don’t get into a debate. Ask the question. Answer it. Ask the question…

A variation on this is to ask yourself “What am I aware of NOW?” Then in the moment of asking the question allow yourself to become aware of whatever it is that you are most aware of. It could be a sound, a sensation, something in your visual field… anything at all. Then let that go and ask the question again. Repeat until peace returns to your mind.

Walking

Walking is great exercise, but as you walk, look at the beauty that surrounds you. Just notice what you pass – the small as well as the large. On my walks I will stop to smell a flower, enjoy a vista, visually explore an interesting piece of architecture, listen to the birds, feed or stroke a horse, make friends with a dog. Last night a friend pulled up next to me and we had a pleasant chat for half an hour or so. It wouldn’t have happened if I’d stayed indoors.

Yoga

Yoga is a discipline that has huge psychological and physical benefits. Quite a few years ago now I attended three classes a week and I’ve never been as fit and flexible in my life as I was then. But attending a class isn’t really what I have in mind. Get a DVD, or do some online research and find a simple five or ten minute routine that you can do each day. My favourite is the Hymn to the Sun (Sun Salutation, surya namaskara) performed each morning. It incorporates several postures and really lifts the spirit for the day.

 

These are simple things that anyone can do, all it takes is a desire to move away from the endless cycle of worry and consequent build up of stress and stress symptoms. As I mentioned earlier, there will be no change until you take positive action. Above you have seven simple things you can do that will make a difference instantly. When you do these things on a regular basis your life will begin to change, until eventually you start to get a taste of Freedom.

Let me know how you get on.

Michael

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Does Anxiety Make You Older?

At least that’s what recent research at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston suggests. They have found evidence for a mechanism that connects physiological signs of aging, like skin condition, with chromosome characteristics.

Apparently the molecules (telomeres) that protect chromosomes from damage and deterioration are less well-developed in women who worry and they match the condition of telomeres in much older women.

Now the fact that chronic worrying accelerates aging is not news, but what this research does is to provide a mechanism, a reason why that might be the case. However, as is often the case with scientific breakthroughs, all that has been shown is a correlation – a connection. What has not been demonstrated is cause and effect.

It could equally well be that worrying is genetically predetermined and that shortened telomeres are simply an indicator that you are predisposed to worry and there’s nothing you can do about it. Though I have to say from my own experience that if anyone was genetically predetermined to be a chronic worrier it’s me, and that’s something I changed quite dramatically, so although I have to accept genetic predisposition as a possibility, I don’t actually believe it to be the truth. Unless, of course, we accept the possibility that genes can be changed, or maybe switched on or off. This is something that I am quite happy to accept because it would certainly go a long way to explain how the mind can have such a powerful impact in the body.

Interestingly this same characteristic is associated with heart disease, cancer, dementia and low income. Now that last one is really interesting. Are some people genetically predisposed to be poor, age quickly and die of some horrible disease? I have to say that I am more inclined to believe that poverty makes it much more difficult for an individual to lead a healthy lifestyle, or create a vibrant environment around them in which to thrive.

So we have at least two possibilities here. Worrying wears away the ends of your chromosomes and this ages your skin and reduces general health and vitality, making you more likely to suffer from diseases. Or, you arrive in this world with short chromosome ends and are, therefore, condemned to a short life filled with worry.

My personal view is that worry is a learned skill. This stress takes its toll on immune system function, which then leaves you open to cardio-vascular problems and diseases like cancer. I was able to change my ‘worry’ style of thinking, so that makes me think that it was something learned rather than something that was a part of me.

That’s good news. You see, if it’s part of your biological make-up then the chances are that nothing you do will work, and then the tendency will be to just accept it and carry on suffering unnecessarily. But if it’s just a habit, just a style of thinking that you learned, then you can learn something new. The sooner you learn a new style of thinking and dealing with life’s challenges, the sooner you can have an impact on your body’s physiological, rather than chronological, age.

Who knows, if you learn to stop worrying and cultivate a sense of peace and contentment within your mind, you may even be able to reverse any skin damage that’s already been done.

 

Michael

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Fix Stress Quickly And Easily

Worry seems to be normal. At least worry seems to be normal if you class normal as what most people do. Natural is not the same as normal and worry is not natural. It’s not natural because worry is something we learn to do.

As tiny humans we are ‘engineered’ to learn rapidly by observing and emulating those around us. This is a survival trait. The sooner we learn what’s safe in our world; the sooner we learn what to steer clear of in our world; the greater our chances of survival.

What we observe most adults do is worry.

Now watch the news.

There must be a channel with news on. Go and watch it for 30 minutes.

Now tell me there is nothing in the world to be concerned about.

Are there crazy gunmen randomly killing people? Do tsunamis, earthquakes, and volcanoes wipe out the lives of thousands as if they were of no more value than the ant you probably accidentally squished when you were out yesterday? Are the finances of your country in a total shambles with meltdown, and the devaluing of all your hard earned savings and investments, just around the corner? Are jobs scarce, difficult to get and harder to hang on to? Do you now know how many million unemployed there are, and just how serious this is – for you? Do you know now just how bad the weather is (again?) this year and the adverse affect it’s going to have on crop yields and food prices? Do you know where all the floods and droughts are? Are you fully clued up on all the infidelities and dishonesties of your favourite politicians?

And talking of politicians – do you know how the war is going? There’s always a war, politicians arrange wars to provide an external distraction from the internal problems they are not dealing with and don’t really want you to pay too much attention to.

Go pick up your daily paper.

Isn’t it full of the same stuff?

There is plenty to worry about. But, most of it is brought to you from outside agencies. Consider for a moment that you are away on holiday, perhaps in some isolated place, maybe camping away from people; maybe somewhere quiet and peaceful with a nice beach where you can just relax, read a good book and generally chill out. This is a holiday where you’ve left your phone at home. Now who would do such a crazy thing as that– I mean what if the world couldn’t go on without me?  What if something bad happened and no one could let me know? You’ve also decided that the only reading you are going to do is enjoyable books, and you’ve come to a place with no tv, and no internet.

It sounds like Hell I know. No tv, no papers, no phone, no facebook, just sunshine, sea and sand, or maybe trees, lakes, open spaces, beautiful mountains, and amazing wildlife.

Could you survive this hell for a couple of weeks?

The truth is the world does what the world does and it does it whether you are paying attention or not. Worrying about volcanoes, earthquakes, and other tragic events, doesn’t stop them doing what they do. If there is a real danger then take whatever action you can to protect yourself and then forget about it. I‘m not suggesting for a minute that you shouldn’t take precautions, just that you should do it or not do it and then get on with your life. If you choose not to take sensible precautions then recognise that that’s a choice you’ve made, don’t keep worrying about what might happen because you’ve not done the sensible thing.

In my part of the world it’s usual to lock up your doors and windows when you go out even though there isn’t a lot of crime. It also makes sense to lock your car when you leave it. What doesn’t make sense is spending the time away from home, or car, worrying about what would happen if someone broke in.

I have a simple solution to the worry problem. I don’t watch news on tv. And yes that means I sometimes don’t hear about disasters and serious crimes until two or three days, or maybe a week or two after they’ve happened. Oddly, I’ve found that makes absolutely no difference to me – other than my mind is freer of worry than a lot of people I know. I haven’t read a newspaper regularly since 1975. I find there is so much more interesting and inspirational stuff to read that newspapers are just a waste of my mindtime.

Of course as soon as I got interested in hypnosis, for use as a therapeutic tool, I realised that newspapers are just a way to hypnotise and control the masses.

No I’m not a conspiracy nut, but when you step back from this stuff you can see what’s going on. While it’s important to you and you are in the middle of it, you will defend it against criticism.

I value my own opinion. Newspapers tell you your opinion.

So, if you haven’t guessed it already, the first step on the way to fix stress quickly and easily is to try out an experiment.

For just one 24 hour period, watch something more fun than the news, and read something more interesting than a newspaper.

And see what happens.

It’s just a day. Anyone, no matter how addicted, can survive a day without the negative input of tv news and newspapers. Yes you may miss the world’s biggest disaster and have no idea what’s going on when everyone else is talking about it, but then if it isn’t in your immediate neck of the woods isn’t it just voyeuristic anyway?

If there’s a serious problem in the world, then if you can take action to help – take action; if you can’t then forget about it. Your thinking or worrying or stressing about it all day will not change one tiny aspect of what’s going on.

The only place true freedom exists is within your own mind.

You cannot experience that freedom while your emotional state is being manipulated by others.

Take that first step towards Freedom and give yourself a taste – just for a day.

If this resonates with you then please leave a comment below.

Michael

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Learned Helplessness – Can You Fix It?

Learned helplessness could be all that’s stopping you from reaching your potential in life. You might not even realise that’s what the problem is. It might just seem as if the World is against you; you are just one of the unlucky ones; or you don’t have what it takes.

I was reading this morning about an experiment that took place back in the 50’s. They took a couple of dogs and put them in cages which had a floor through which could be delivered a mild electric shock. One of the cages had a switch. When this switch was pressed the shocks stopped. The dog in this cage very quickly learned to stop the shocks.

The other cage had no method of preventing the shocks so the other dog had to get used to it.

The second part of the experiment involved placing the dogs in cages where half of the floor was safe and half the floor delivered random, mild electric shocks. A low barrier separated the two halves. The dog that learned to use the switch very quickly jumped over the barrier and stayed in the safe half. The dog from the cage where no control was possible stayed in electrified part – it had given up on trying to prevent itself from experiencing pain. It had learned, in a very short space of time, how to be helpless in the face of adversity.

In a way you can see the sense of this, while the environment remains constant. I mean if there’s nothing you can do to change the situation, why not just accept it? Anything else is going to cause more stress. But it seems that having made this switch it’s difficult for an animal to subsequently make the switch back to normal operations where curiosity and a desire for self-preservation still function.

While this is very simplistic, it does correlate to human behaviour. Depression, anxiety, and stress are all linked to having learned that control of outcomes is impossible. Children who are set tasks that are too difficult for them (perhaps by parents who want them to excel) can learn that giving up early on saves hours of anguish and struggle trying to solve an impossible puzzle. Having discovered that failure is normal, a child may well go on to perform poorly at academic subjects in school, and then fail to reach their true potential in life.

If you feel shy in social situations, perhaps because you are a perfectly normal introvert, you can quickly learn that it’s safer to stay at home, or to spend time on your own. But that way nothing ever changes.

Depressed people tend to blame themselves when things go wrong. A failed exam would be their fault where others might be able to see that the teacher was a dead loss and really shouldn’t be allowed near students. Because of the length of time that depression tends to last it’s a great way to learn helplessness and give up because you appear to have no control over how you feel. Because you feel low all the time, you have no motivation, no drive, and no energy, so life just doesn’t work. That’s when you give up and it gets even worse. But, because you’ve given up, it’s not so easy to keep looking for a solution.

You don’t have to be depressed to be in a state of learned helplessness. All you need to do is to have given up on your dreams, accepted an unacceptable life situation, or settled for things being the way they are forever.

There is a very simple way to begin to leave this state.

Because it is learned behaviour, you still have the capacity to learn a new behaviour. So if you take into account your lack of motivation and belief that nothing makes any difference, there really should be no harm in doing something simple.

All you have to do is rediscover that you can control your destiny.

The easiest way to do that is to make simple choices.

Choose to watch something on tv that makes you laugh rather than something that makes you cry.

Choose to read one paragraph in a book by an inspirational author each day.

Choose to have tea or coffee. Have it black if you like white, have it without sugar if you like sugar – not to make yourself suffer more, but to demonstrate that when you have things the way you like them you are actually making choices and not simply accepting things the way they are.

Choose to go for a walk in the sun or in the rain.

Choose to stop reading this and go and do something more interesting instead.

Make simple small choices.

Become aware of all the choices that you make every day that seem normal. Choosing the same thing all the time is still choosing. It’s not the same as having no choice.

Set yourself small tasks that you can complete. Create easy challenges so that you can enjoy small successes. Once you reconnect with the good feelings that come with even small accomplishments, you are on the road to living a happier more fulfilling life.

Michael

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Worrying Women Worry More Than Men Who Don’t Worry Enough

Researchers at Michigan State University have evidence that suggests that women who worry, worry more than anyone else. Women who don’t worry are ok. Men who worry don’t worry as much. It seems that when worrying women engage in tasks a part of their mind is constantly assessing how well they are performing and whenever a mistake is made or something isn’t quite good enough then the worrying kicks in.

This anxiety interferes with task performance and uses up energy causing tiredness and exhaustion which again interferes with task performance. So if you are a worrier, doing anything is much, much harder for you than for anyone else, but if you are a female worrier – then life is really tough. It’s as if you have a super-critical overseer constantly looking over your shoulder.

Worry, anxiety, stress – whatever you want to call it is a huge problem in our society. 60 million people in the US receive tranquillisers each year. That figure is 12 million in the UK. That’s 20% (1 in every 5) of the population in each country. And the interesting thing is, that despite the popularity of medicating it – medication does nothing to change the situation. All it does is ease the symptoms.

That isn’t a solution.

The only lasting solution that I’ve found is to deal with the problem where it is. Where it is is the mind. Notice that I say mind and not brain. The problem is the thoughts you think, the reasons you think them, and your identification with those thoughts.

Because thoughts tend to appear within our own minds, and they tend to make sense to us, (and there are so many of them we don’t have time to question them) we go along with whatever they are saying. We might not act on them, but we do tend to agree with them.

“So and so’s a right b****, just look at what she did.” The thought is there, and we are in total agreement with it, as we smile sweetly when so and so walks past and says ‘hi’. We might not act on them, but we are in agreement.

So when we are engaged in a task, and we make a small mistake, thoughts like: stupid, careless, idiot, and worse may pop spontaneously into our thought space. Because they appear of their own volition and what they are saying fits with our reality – we believe them.

But we don’t like them.

So we become more vigilant. This takes more energy, so the task becomes more difficult and possibly slower (another cause for critical thoughts) and so starts a vicious cycle of self-defeating, energy-sapping thought activity.

There is a solution. There is a way out. It isn’t medication.

Michael

Thanks to:

http://sl.farmonline.com.au/news/metro/national/general/worrying-impairs-female-brains-study/2612897.aspx