Confidence is Key. Without confidence life is a struggle. Without confidence easy things become difficult or impossible. Without confidence life seems to pass you by while you sit on the sidelines and watch. If that was all, life would at least be tolerable and you could get by. The real problem comes when others make demands of you.
Bosses are very good at this. “I need you to do a presentation.” You can’t get out of it because your livelihood depends on it. But the very idea terrifies you, and so life becomes a waking nightmare until you have finally crashed and burned and it is not only in the past but you hope you made such a terrible job of it that you will never be asked again.
I had a patient who had a two-year old daughter and such was his terror of public speaking that he came to see me for help about the fear he was experiencing at the thought that in 18, or 20, or 30 years’ time he would have to stand up and give a speech at her wedding.
Another was the boss of his own company who dreaded management meetings because he found it difficult to stand up to the stronger wills of his subordinates. So this problem affects people at all levels on the success ladder.
Lack of confidence is not just about public speaking though. Other forms of public performance – like being watched while performing a task, interviews, tests and the like, all cause problems for you if your confidence is low.
But where this lack of belief in Self hurts the most is in your social interactions. Always the listener. Always the quiet one – at least until you get to know people and feel that you are safe with them. This sense of personal safety is important, because those who experience any sense of inadequacy are frequently sensitive souls who feel slights and digs much more deeply than those around them. They are usually much better at tuning in to the feelings of others and pick up very quickly, almost telepathically, on the genuineness, or otherwise, of those they encounter in their journey through life.
But at the heart of all this is the idea, the belief, that you are unworthy, or undeserving, or not good enough – and everyone else knows it, and talks about it. This is not a truth – it just feels like one. So at the heart of the problem is an idea about Self. This an idea that has been imposed, or learned simply from the way you have been treated in your younger years. Our school system is very good at making sure that everyone knows that only the most academically capable are worth anything. It is also very good at instilling a sense of failure in our hearts. What it fails, most spectacularly, to do is to teach us that we are wonderful, warm, deserving people who need to believe in, and follow, our dreams until our dreams change or we achieve our desires.
All of us are worthy. There are none who are better, or worse. Yes, of course, intelligence and ability have not been handed out equally, and some tasks are undoubtedly easier for some than they are for you. But skill and talent are not measures of worthiness. Understand this and you go a long way to undoing the subconscious programming that is holding you back behind the prison of your fears. A great way to begin to undo this subconscious programming is to use hypnosis.
I have created two tools to help you with this. The first is my book Change Your Life with Self Hypnosis. This devotes more space than this article to helping you understand the reasons for lack of self confidence and how to help change that. The other is my latest hypnosis recording Self Confidence that is available for immediate download either directly from my website or from Amazon. So grab your copy now – it even comes with a 30 day money-back guarantee if for any reason you aren’t happy with it. So there’s nothing to lose and everything to gain. It could change your life, so take action now.